I felt the baby move!

I am 19 1/2 weeks and I felt the baby move for the first time last night. I have been impatient lately, wanting to feel him/her move. I put all my concentration into any little feeling in my abdomen and nothing. I do a little poking and prodding hoping to get some movement... and nothing. Last night in middle of the night I was laying on my side but slightly rolled onto a bit of my stomach. I was trying to fall back asleep when I felt a little tap... tap.... tap from the inside. My eyes flew open and I was suddenly wide awake, very excited. It was as if the little one was tapping me saying "hey Mom, your squishing me a little, can ya roll back onto your side?" Then as I was laying there I felt more and more movement. It was so great to feel!

Ok, so it's been awhile so I'll give some more updates. We bought a Micralite fastfold stroller with matching carrycot. Here is a picture of it:



We ordered our nursery furniture. Here is what it looks like but you'll have to picture it in a dark espresso color.

We have decided to go with cloth diapers and have purchased several different types.

Oh, and the most exciting thing is we have our 20 week ultrasound on Monday and are hoping to find out the gender! Cant wait!

I'll post again on Monday once we find out what we are having.

All kinds of updates

Wow, it sure has been awhile since I have posted!! So this will be a bunch of hodgepodge randomness...

Christmas- was relaxing. I went to my extended family's Christmas get-together which was lots of fun the weekend before Christmas. My husband was supposed to join me down there but ended up getting snowed in at home. I traveled over early to go to a Red Wings game for my little bro's 21st birthday. Then we got 12 inches of snow so John couldnt make it.

Then for Christmas John was sick so we had a very low key day. His Mom and sister came over for dinner, we exchanged gifts, and watched a movie. It was very relaxing.

New Years Eve was similar. Good friends of ours came over for a few hours but left before midnight. John and I were in bed at about 11:oo, we didnt make it to midnight. Lame! I know!!

I had my 2nd doctors appointment on Tuesday. John went with me this time so he got to hear the heartbeat. He thought that was really cool! I am now in my second trimester. I only gained 1 pound my first trimester, I was surprised since it seams like I was always hungry during the first three months. I am also in maternity pants now so the 1 lb gain was surprising. How am I busting out of my jeans with only a 1lb gain? Weird!

I am starting to experience some of that renewed energy I keep hearing that people get in the 2nd trimester. I starting organinzing things, and getting things in order for the baby. We have picked out nursery furniture. Click here to see what we chose. The stock photo is not the color we will be getting. Picture it in an espresso color.

We also decided on cloth diapering as apposed to disposables. There are a lot of options out there in the cloth diaper world, it can be a little overwhelming to choose but I think we figured out what we are going to use.

I also got a used bassinet. I just couldnt see spending a hundred dollars or so on a little bed that will only be used for a short time when we are already spending quite a few hundred on the crib. I got a used one for $15 that is in great shape and will work perfectly!

And I just purchased a Madela Pump in Style breast pump. I got a very good deal on that as well! I feel like things are starting to come together! We are starting to purchase things we need, make decisions, etc. Now if we could just agree on a name! I guess we will still have quite a bit of time, though.

I think that is pretty much all of my updates right now. I have been feeling really good. And, one of the best things is that my husband is back in town! No more out of town work for awhile! Lucky him he got to miss all the morning sickness!

Whiney Post

When you are reading this, read it in a really whiney voice because that is how I feel as I am writing it! I am really really tired of spending my entire first trimester alone. John is out of town through the week and has been since the week before I found out I am pregnancy. The weekend before last I was out of town for a conference the whole weekend so I didnt get to see my husband for two weeks. The weekends are way too short, he usually doesnt feel like doing anything most of the weekend because he has been gone all week and I usually want to do something because I have been by myself all week.

I also work from home, so I dont even see people during the day while working. I spend all day and all night by myself and it gets pretty boring! It wouldnt be so bad if I was just spending evenings alone and I was around people all day at work. But I dont.

It also doesnt help that I have had morning sickness so bad that all I feel like doing is laying on the couch when I am not in the bathroom. But I am starting to feel better now, I think that is why it is getting to me more now.

Sorry to whine, normally I love working from home. Just not when John is out of town and I am alone all day and night.

Next post will be less blubbering!

Seriously!?!

So I posted about the hematoma on my myspace blog and a girl that is on there as a friend (actually, she is just someone I went to school with, we have never been friends, just acquaintances) replied to my post. She said that (my complications) is why she isnt sure if she wants kids, she is afraid that she will have complications because she has had FOUR abortions!!! Four! Come one, at what point do you learn your lesson and use some BIRTH CONTROL! She has been married for 10 years or something like that, all were with her husband, but really, quit being so selfish and take responsibility! I am pro-choice and think that everyone needs to choose for themselves, but I do have a problem when people use abortion as birth control. Isnt there a limit on that? She went on to say that "birth control just doesnt work for us" and "I am as fertile as it gets, it sucks". Well, regardless of how fertile she is, she can find some kind of birth control that works. And if ONE doesnt, then double up. Use the pill AND a condom or something. She has also commented before that she doesnt want to give up smoking pot for 9 months so she isnt sure if she wants to have kids. So my guess is, they get high and dont use birth control properly because they arent necessarily in their right mind. Voila! She gets pregnant, then just says "oh well, I'll have another abortion". How totally irresponsible! So many people want children SOOOO bad and arent fertile at all! She should be a little more responsible with her 'fertileness'.

Sorry this is such a rant, but that email just really pissed me off. Once your are in your 30's and get pregnant WITH your husband, I really think you need to quit being selfish and own up to your actions. Ok, I'm done venting.

Sub-Chorionic Hematoma

I had my first appointment yesterday with my OB. I started having some very slight spotting on Sunday and a little on Monday morning, and some of my other symptoms also eased up A LOT Monday and Tuesday so I was really worried about the baby. So I had an ultrasound to see how the baby was doing and to see why I was spotting. What a little peanut!! Hearing the heart beating was amazing! I started crying as soon as I heard it!

After seeing that the baby was doing great the ultrasound technician tried to find out the reason for the spotting. She found a sub-chorionic hematoma near the placenta. Apparently, it is bleeding and bruising. The ultrasound tech downplayed it and didnt seem to think it was a big deal but I didnt talk to my doc after the ultrasound so I dont know if it is a big deal or not. I did some research online and that scared me a bit! Most of what I read said that you should take it very easy to reduce the chance of miscarrying and most people end up on bedrest. I really hope that doesnt happen!!

So here are pictures of the ultrasound:

Feeling green

I havent posted in awhile. I havent done much of anything, actually! A few posts back I said I just want to 'feel' pregnant and followed that up with a comment on how I would be kicking myself for saying that. Well, I am kicking myself now! I have been soooo sick the past couple weeks. Nausea all. day. long! I dont vomit often I just feel like it all the time. I wish I would just throw up because I usually feel better afterwards. For a little while anyways.

So I now definitely feel pregnant. I will be 8 weeks tomorrow and I have almost every symptom the books list. I dont sleep very well, I am exhausted all the time, nausea that doesnt stop, and can we talk tender breasts!?! I didnt know they could hurt that bad! I bought a couple of sleep bras and those help a lot but they still hurt all night.

So the post about wanting to feel pregnant was stupid! I should have never wished that on myself (not that it would have changed anything if I didnt say that).

My husband is starting to realize that I really am pregnant. Not that he doubted it, it is just taking a little while for it to really sink in. We sat in front of the fireplace by the Christmas tree yesterday and I read some of the Fathers section out of the "what to expect..." book. He has been talking about it a lot more, too. He has always said he was excited (which I know he is) but it hasnt really sunk in until the past weekend. Maybe seeing his wife running to the bathroom and laying on the couch ready to throw up all the time is what did it! He is gone through the week and home on the weekends so he doesnt see me much lately. I think the 4 day weekend seeing me sick is what did it. We had more time to talk about the baby too.

My first appointment is a week from tomorrow. I am excited for that! Oh, I also found out today that one of my friends is pregnant and due two weeks after me! It will be fun to have someone else nearby at the same stage of pregnancy as me!

Ha! I just realized that I posted about the same thing two posts in a row! Can I claim pregnancy brain yet? I seriously dont remember posting about my fear of having multiples in the "slew of emotions" post. Oh well, now everyone really knows my vision of several eggs bursting out at one!

I have been feeling queezy quite often lately. Ick!

I am heading to Chicago today for the rest of this week. It is snowy out, I dont like driving in the snow. And, I have to drive through a county that is in the middle of a severe snow advisory, ugh! I hope it isnt too bad.

How many?

I have been SO tired this week! I go out to do something for a little while and I am exhausted! Yesterday, my husband and I went furniture shoping for about an hour and a half, then I met a friend of mine for lunch and about an hour of shopping. By the time I got home I was BEAT! I slept in front of the fireplace for a couple hours then was still tired. I hope this doesnt last long. Next week I will be in Chicago for work. I will have meetings all day and into the evening. I dont know how I am going to manage without a nap in middle of the day. I have it made right now working from home, I can just take a nap when I need to. But when I am traveling for work I am usually busy morning till night.

So, my Husband REALLY wants triplets, or at least twins. I think he is nuts! Most guys are terrified of having more than one, not my husband! Every time he refers to the baby he says "the babies", plural. He tells me al lthe time that I am eating for four, and gives me 3 kisses to send down to the babies. I am not superstitious but, jeez, I hope he isnt jinxing me! Not that that is possible. I will be absolutely greatful with whatever I am having, and feel blessed that I am even pregnant in the first place. But I do prefer to have one baby at a time. He has me worried that I am carrying three! With how hungry I am I wouldnt doubt it!

My vision doesnt help at all. This is what I cant stop picturing: I have been on Clomid which enhances ovulation but I wasnt on it because of not ovulating. So I picture it making me superovulate. Then, during surgery they found that my ovaries were fused together with other organs. So, what I am picturing is that all these months I have been trying to ovulate but because my ovaries were fused the eggs couldnt come out. Then, my ovaries were freed and I am picturing all these backed up eggs bursting out and getting fertilized. I know that medically, I am probably waaaay off, but I still keep picturing that. I wish I was getting an ultra sound at my first appointment. I would really like to know how many babies are in there. I am sure it is only one, but I have this nagging image in the back of my head!

A slew of emotions

My current slew of emotoins:

Happy- I dont even know if happy is the word for it. Take happy and multiply it by a hundred. What word is that? I find myself smiling every day lately. I am so happy that this miracle has finally happened.

Amazed- I am amazed at everything going on inside of me that I cant even feel. Everyday I read about what development is going on and, even though I know all babies go through this same development, I cant help telling my baby "wow, you are soooo amazing! You are working so hard every day to develop! You are truly miraculous and strong!" I am amazed at all that is going on in such a tiny little being.

Sad- I am sad for everyone out there that is still fighting the infertility battle. Sad that so many havent gotten their miracle yet. I find myself thinking of them often.

Scared- I'm afraid at being so happy in the first trimester. I am terrified of miscarriage, I am not sure I could cope with that. I am not convinced I am strong enough to handle that. I cant wait to get through the next couple months so I feel more safe.

Excited- I am excited for my Mom. She has waited for this for just as long as I have. She has been there for me through it all, and the one person that I could talk about all my feelings, even the ones I was slightly ashamed of. She is excited for me, too. I am so greatful I have her to share this joy and miracle with.

Anxious- I am anxious to hear the heartbeat, anxious to feel it kick, anxious to know if I am having a boy or girl, and most of all, anxious to know if I am carrying one or more. I have been on Clomid which increases ovulation. But I wasnt on it becuase of not ovulating. So, the vision I have going through my head is.... I was on Clomid for five months increasing ovulation but had problems with my ovaries. Once I had the surgery and all was fixed I envision all those eggs bursting out and getting fertilized. I know I am probably way off but I cant get that though out of my mind. I will be happy with whatever I have. I am not sure how prepared I am for multiples, but I will have plenty of time to get ready. Besides, are you ever REALLY ready for several babies at once? Especially like 4 or 5! I am thinking that if it is more than one that it is two, no more.

So those are my emotions right now. With the way I am going these days, I'll have a whole different list tomorrow!

Symptoms

Today I am 4weeks and 6 days pregnant. Almost 5 weeks. I got my first 'congrats' card in the mail today. Very sweet from my sister-n-law. She is always sooooo good about sending cards right away for everything.

Reading a fellow bloggers post gave me the idea for this post. Check out Selmada's blog. Hers is about cravings, or the lack thereof. I am going to write about symptoms. I secretly want to feel the symptoms of pregnancy because that is the only way I can 'feel' pregnant. I am sure that if I get bad morning sickness I am going to kick myself for saying this, but I want to FEEL pregnant. Here are the things I am feeling:

Hungry, ummm, CONSTANTLY! I go from fine to famished in about four seconds! The problem is that nothing ever sounds good. Once I am hungry I know I need to eat, and I need to eat NOW but I can't think of anything that sounds good. I am definitely NOT craving anything. Since nothing sounds good I have been eating pretty healthy so that is good.

Tender breasts- usually, the weak before AF shows up, my breasts are extremely sore. I have to hold them when I walk up and down the stairs so they don't bounce even the slightest little bit. This month, the week before they never got tender or sore. "How lucky!' I thought. Until yesterday, then Surprise! they hurt again. So now I feel like I do just before AF.

Tired-somewhat. Last week I was in Dallas all week for work and I was definitely ready to go to bed around 9:00, but that could have just been because of busy days. The last couple days I am tired but I dont know if it is a lot more than normal, I dont really think so.

So, am I crazy for secretly hoping for some symptoms? Probably, but I just want to 'feel' pregnant.

I am so anxious to start buying stuff too! I was looking around online today and ordered a couple maternity items that were clearanced from Mimi Maternity. Here are pics:








They are quite patterned! Of course I will pair each of them with something solid to tone it down a bit. I wont be into maternity clothes for awhile but I thought they were good deals so I thought I would take advantage of it.